I've finally chosen my TRY. And I have my reasons for my choices. I've decided to do 2 sprint triathlons, and one weekend of cycling 100 miles. I admit that I'm terrified. And I'm going to be blogging about what it means to me to train to move my body, when my body isn't the body it used to be. Many surgeries. Many worries. Many moments of fear held in my cells that will never go away. But these mean something to me, as they represent my cancer experience.
1. Sprint Tri #1: Philadelphia Women's Tri on July 12th. I'm doing one alone, because I'm afraid. I want one under my belt just for me. Just to see if I can do it. Just to hold my body accountable and push myself alone. I did cancer alone, and later with my community. This one will be like my start...relying on me. Radical Survival
2. Cycling Farm Ride in Amherst -- 100 miles of cycling on Aug 7/8 with my husband and my friends. The second and third time I got cancer, I was with my community. I will ride with them. We will ride where I went to college in the Amherst/Northampton area. I will ride with others pushing me to keep going when I want to give up. Community
3. Sprint Tri #2: Girlfriends All-Women Tri in Vancouver, WA on Aug 16. This one I will do with my friend Becky. From here I will go out to Reno, and then to Burningman. But this one is special. This one is cancer as a caregiver and friend. Aug 16 will be the 5-year anniversary of Tigger's death. It is Andy's birthday. And This one is for my loves who also survive(d). Hopefully Toka will be at the finish line to cheer me on. This one reminds me that every minute matters. That I am still alive. That even if I don't finish, I pushed as hard as I could. Feel every heavy breath, every strain, every moment of doubt and be thankful that I can. Immediacy.
All of my events this year will be to raise funds for the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation. Because Toka, like me, survives a rare cancer that is still in many ways a mystery. Let's find out more.